Melissa Rauch’s Bernadette Rostenkowski was introduced in season 3 of The Big Bang Theory as a small waitress with a squeaky voice, but over time Bernadette’s competitive and caustic nature became more apparent. Bernadette was the impetus for Simon Helberg’s Howard Wolowitz’s major character change, going from an indiscriminate creep to an adoring father. Howard might have matured, but like with the rest of The Big Bang Theory characters, his interests never did. The fandom tends to think of Bernadette as a shrew, someone who controls Howard and tries to strip him of his niche, nerdy interests.
I think this position is a little unfair to Bernadette. While she can be hurtfully snarky, she generally does not want Howard to give up his interests, only to do his part around the house, like when she hid his Xbox in the laundry machine when he was slacking on his household chores. In general, I found Bernadette to be a fiercely loyal and loving wife, and she was more likely to take up his interests than ask him to put them aside.
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Season 5, Episode 12, “The Shiny Trinket Maneuver”
Bernadette Is Howard’s Aggressive Magician’s Assistant For A Kid’s Birthday Party
Bernadette enthusiastically supports Howard’s passion for magic when he books a show at a child’s birthday party. She is thrilled to be his assistant and even loves their matching outfits. However, she warns him she is not great with kids, still resentful over essentially raising her younger siblings. At the party, Bernadette’s protective nature towards Howard kicks in, threatening to suspend cake privileges to a child who interrupts the act.
Bernadette truly wants to spend her life with Howard and finds a compromise: Howard will be the stay-at-home dad, while Bernadette is the breadwinner.
Bernadette and Howard, engaged since season 4, find themselves at a crossroads over having children. Bernadette truly wants to spend her life with Howard and finds a compromise: Howard will be the stay-at-home dad, while Bernadette is the breadwinner. Bernadette coyly suggests make-up sex, and Howard magically pulls a condom from behind her ear. This episode perfectly captures how Bernadette and Howard’s relationship broke sitcom rules in the best possible way.
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Season 6, Episode 13, “The Bakersfield Expedition”
Bernadette Reads A Comic Book To Understand Howard’s Fandom
Bernadette is often the most open-minded of the women when it comes to the boys’ nerdy interests. In season 6, episode 13, Amy (Mayim Bialik) and Penny (Kaley Cuoco) dismiss comic books as childish, questioning how such intelligent men can spend so much time debating silly fictional topics. Rather than belittling Howard’s enthusiasm, Bernadette suggests that he’s simply in touch with his inner child and proposes that they all actually try reading a comic to understand their partners.
At Stuart’s (Kevin Sussman) comic book store, Bernadette is the first to ask Stuart what type of comics their guys like to read, actively engaging in Howard’s interests. Though all three women initially mock the comics, they quickly get sucked into a passionate debate over Thor’s hammer, proving the appeal firsthand. Bernadette’s willingness to meet Howard where he is, rather than try to change him, shows how she supports him without compromising herself.
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Season 7, Episode 13, “The Occupation Recalibration”
Bernadette Goes To Great Lengths To Replace Howard’s Comics
In season 7, episode 13, the episode where Penny famously quits acting, Bernadette once again proves to be a supportive wife by going out of her way to replace Howard’s rare comic book after accidentally ruining it with her curling iron. Instead of dismissing his love for comic books, she respects the importance of his possessions and is determined to make things right before he finds out he was right about her being careless with her curling iron.
Bernadette’s loyalty also extends to her friends. When she and Stuart visit a high-end comic store, she’s so put off by the owner’s rude treatment of Stuart that she refuses to buy the issue. However, her need to replace the comic ultimately outweighs her principles, and she later returns to buy it, begrudgingly accepting a chocolate scone while scolding the owner. Bernadette may not be demure, but she is a fierce friend.
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Season 12, Episode 9, “The Citation Negation”
Bernadette Practices Fortnite Behind Howard’s Back
Bernadette does not just tolerate Howard’s geeky interests but occasionally embraces them. In season 12, episode 9, she notices Howard and Raj (Kunal Nayyar) playing Fortnite while she does laundry. Rather than rolling her eyes or calling it a waste of time, Bernadette immediately wants to join, confidently claiming to be a bit of a gamer herself. Her enthusiasm again highlights her willingness to engage in Howard’s hobbies rather than feel excluded from them.
When she dies before even landing, her competitive nature kicks in. Bernadette becomes obsessed with improving, going so far as to recruit Stuart’s girlfriend Denise (Lauren Lapkus) to train her. However, even with the secret practice, Howard still beats her, to Bernadette’s chagrin.
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Season 12, Episode 10, “The VCR Illumination”
Bernadette Pushes “The Great Howdini” To Audition For The Magic Castle
Bernadette is Howard’s biggest cheerleader in season 12, episode 10. When she discovers an old tape of his magic act, “The Great Howdini,” Howard is embarrassed, but Bernadette insists he was good. Howard points out that Bernadette has called magic “dumb,” but she counters that you can be good at something dumb — not even close to Bernadette’s most savage moments.
Determined to support his dreams, she digs out his old magic equipment and urges him to audition for the prestigious Magic Castle. She even offers to coach him using her pageant experience, though her performance-driven approach begins to overshadow his act. Realizing she was making his success about herself, she steps back, allowing Howard to reclaim his magic. Even when his audition goes horribly awry, Bernadette’s unwavering belief in him proves she truly supports his interests throughout The Big Bang Theory.
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