Homer Simpson has a reputation for being a hopeless idiot, but he’s actually dispensed plenty of surprising wisdom over the years that’s made him The Simpsons’ resident sage. Homer’s limited intellect has been explained as being caused by a crayon getting lodged in his brain during his childhood. This brain crayon has impaired all his mental faculties. He can’t wrap his head around simple concepts, he makes very poor decisions, he doesn’t have much concern for his physical wellbeing, and it means he’s dangerously unqualified for his job as a safety inspector at a nuclear panner plant.
Over the years, Homer has done some very stupid things and made some very stupid decisions. He created a fire simply by pouring milk and cereal into a bowl. He managed to cause a nuclear meltdown from a fake workstation with no nuclear material. When he went into the witness protection program, he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that his new name was Homer Thompson. But Homer is also shown to be a secret genius sometimes. He accidentally replicated one of Thomas Edison’s inventions, he can name every Supreme Court Justice, and he’s full of profound life advice.
10
“If You’re Unhappy With Your Job, You Don’t Strike. You Just Go In There Every Day And Do It Really Half-Assed.”
When they’ve finally had enough of Principal Skinner’s cost-cutting, the teachers of Springfield Elementary go on strike in season 6, episode 21, “The PTA Disbands.” Homer disagrees with their decision to go on strike and says that it’s not “the American way” to go on strike; instead, they should keep going into work and do a half-hearted job. With this classic one-liner, Homer predicted the concept of quiet quitting. Years after Homer first said this, it’s become common for people to mentally check out of their jobs and do the bare minimum without taking on any extra responsibilities.
9
“A ‘D’ Turns Into A ‘B’ So Easily. You Just Got Greedy.”
In season 4, episode 1, “Kamp Krusty,” just as summer break begins and the kids get their grades back, Bart is dismayed to see that he’s gotten a D. Homer and Marge have told him he can’t go to Krusty the Clown’s summer camp if he doesn’t improve his grades, so he tries to turn the “D” on his report card into an “A.” Homer tells him it would’ve been easier to turn the “D” into a “B,” and that he got greedy with the “A.” It’s rare that parents will give their kids advice on how to trick them.
8
“I’ve Learned That Life Is One Crushing Defeat After Another Until You Just Wish Flanders Was Dead.”
Apu moves in with the Simpsons in season 5, episode 13, “Homer and Apu,” after Homer’s TV exposé gets him fired from the Kwik-E-Mart. When Apu is feeling depressed about losing his purpose in life, Homer delivers a delightfully nihilistic monologue about how life is just a series of crushing defeats. The part about wishing Flanders was dead is specific to Homer, but it points to a universal truth: the path of life is paved with disappointment, and everyone will find somewhere to direct their anger and someone to blame for their problems.
7
“Lisa, In This House, We Obey The Laws Of Thermodynamics!”
When the teachers go on strike in “The PTA Disbands,” Bart enjoys the time off school, but Lisa is driven insane without the joy of learning or the validation of being graded. She builds a perpetual motion machine — an incredible feat of scientific innovation — but Homer just tells her off for disobeying the laws of thermodynamics. It’s hilarious that Homer is apparently smart enough to understand that perpetual motion should be impossible, but not smart enough to understand the groundbreaking achievement of an invention that defies the laws of physics and could change the world.
6
“You Can’t Keep Blaming Yourself. Just Blame Yourself Once And Move On.”
In season 8, episode 6, “A Milhouse Divided,” Marge throws a nice dinner party that gets ruined by Kirk and Luann Van Houten’s constant bickering, making everyone uncomfortable. Marge feels terrible about putting her guests through that discomfort, but Homer tells her to stop blaming herself: “Just blame yourself once and move on.” It’s surprising just how many people need to hear this simple but valuable piece of advice. There’s no use dwelling on your mistakes and beating yourself up over them; that kind of thinking won’t get you anywhere — it’ll just make you feel bad.
5
“To Alcohol! The Cause Of, And Solution To, All Of Life’s Problems.”
Springfield reinstates the Prohibition laws in season 8, episode 18, “Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment,” so Homer finds a lucrative new career as a bootlegger. The episode functions as a fun parody of The Untouchables, but it also digs into the philosophy behind prohibitionism and the pros and cons of legalized alcohol consumption. Homer sums it up perfectly in his final line of the episode. Drinking alcohol might cause a lot of problems — unemployment, failed relationships, social embarrassment — but it can also solve a lot of those problems by taking the edge off.
4
“The Worst Day Of Your Life So Far…”
In the first act of The Simpsons Movie, Homer dares Bart to skateboard across town completely naked. When he gets caught, he’s chained to a telephone pole, where every passer-by ruthlessly mocks him. After Homer picks him up, a miserable Bart says it’s the worst day of his life, but Homer corrects him: it’s the worst day of his life “so far.” This is weirdly uplifting advice. No matter how bad it gets, it could always get worse. There are going to be even worse days in Bart’s future, and he’ll get through those, too.
3
“I Guess Some People Never Change. Or, They Quickly Change And Then Quickly Change Back.”
Change is one of the backbones of storytelling. A character goes on a transformative journey and comes out the other side as a much better person. But people in real life don’t really change that much — or, if they do change, they eventually snap back to their old ways. This is one of the tenets that make Paul Thomas Anderson’s storytelling so revolutionary: his characters don’t change. Homer sums up people’s inability to permanently change their nature after Mr. Burns swindles their bowling team in season 7, episode 12, “Team Homer.”
2
“Karma Can Only Be Portioned Out By The Cosmos.”
When Apu comes to Homer’s door in “Homer and Apu,” Homer asks what he’s selling. Apu tells him he is only selling the concept of karmic realignment, but Homer tells him that can’t be sold; it can only be portioned out by the cosmos. Even Apu has to admit that Homer’s got him there. This is one of the classic examples of Homer revealing that he’s a lot smarter than he seems. He might not be able to spell the word “smart,” but he’s smart enough to understand the ins and outs of karma.
1
“Kids, You Tried Your Best And You Failed Miserably. The Lesson Is, Never Try.”
In season 5, episode 18, “Burns’ Heir,” Mr. Burns realizes there won’t be anyone to carry the torch of his legacy, so he holds auditions for a potential heir. Bart and Lisa both audition and get rejected for the position (although Burns eventually reconsiders Bart for the gig when he finds him smashing up his car collection). Homer tells them that they tried their best and failed, so the lesson they should take from that is to never try. That’s hilariously bad advice for a parent to give their children, especially when they’re feeling down.
The real lesson would be to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep trying, but Homer’s fatherly advice has a point here. If you never try, you’ll never fail. Some people work hard their whole lives and it never gets them anywhere, because success is often dependent on luck and circumstances that not everyone is afforded. “Never try” is surprisingly practical advice — and the wisest of Homer’s many wise quotes from The Simpsons.
The Simpsons
9/10
- Release Date
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December 17, 1989
- Network
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FOX
- Showrunner
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Al Jean
