10 Funniest Quotes From Adam Sandler Movies

Adam Sandler’s movies are full of wacky characters and wild storylines, but his best titles are remembered for their hilarious quotes. The talented actor and screenwriter is behind some of the best comedy movies of all time, many of which feature iconic lines of dialogue that audiences continue referencing long after the credits finish rolling. Adam Sandler’s worst characters are notable additions to the world of cinema, even if their personalities are often cringeworthy.

Adam Sandler’s best movies include Happy Gilmore and Mr. Deeds, but he has also released multiple family-friendly titles like Bedtime Stories. He famously casts members of his own family in his films, too. However, Sandler’s biggest strength is his absurd and often outlandish sense of humor, which results in many brilliant and funny quotes.

10 “The Price Is Wrong, B****!”

Happy Gilmore (1996) – Happy Gilmore

Hockey-turned-golf player Happy Gilmore is Adam Sandler’s best character, and he proves this in his interactions with other characters throughout the film. There are several great celebrity cameos in Happy Gilmore, but the most notable is easily Bob Barker. Barker plays a game in the tournament alongside Happy, but the titular character’s unprofessional attitude quickly gets to The Price is Right host.

After Barker begins hounding him over their low score, Happy loses it and starts punching him repeatedly. Watching Bob Barker fall to the ground as Adam Sandler repeatedly beats him is a baffling scene to see play out anyway, but Happy telling him, “The price is wrong, b****!” makes it even more hilarious. What’s even better, however, is how this moment ends. Once Happy delivers the iconic line, he headbutts Barker, knocking him out cold.

Happy Gilmore (1996)

Happy Gilmore is a sports comedy that sees the titular Happy adjust to the world of Golf after failing to make it into Hockey. When he finds that his grandmother is nearly about to lose her home, Happy is discovered by a pro golfer who promises to train him to be one of the best after seeing his otherworldly slapshot. What follows is a new take on golf that completely upends the sport by turning it into a hilarious and chaotic spectator sport as this former short-tempered hockey player jumps into the world of professional golf.

Director

Dennis Dugan

Release Date

February 16, 1996

Runtime

92 minutes

9 “T-T-T-Today Jr!”

Billy Madison (1995) – Billy Madison

“T-T-T-Today Jr!” is hands down one of the funniest quotes in Billy Madison. One of the most ridiculous qualities of Sandler’s characters throughout the film is that Billy genuinely sees himself above the children with whom he attends school. He fails to realize that his quest to finish high school has more meaning than taking over his father’s chain of hotels; it’s also because he’s completely uneducated. Billy’s point of view leads to him bullying a young boy in his third-grade class simply to impress his new teacher, Veronica.

Billy’s remark is rather savage, and just because he is in the same setting as these kids, it doesn’t mean he is one. Despite this, it’s hard not to find this moment absolutely hysterical. This quote highlights just how out-of-touch and naive Billy is, and even though many of the children in other grades mock a fully grown adult at their school, it doesn’t stop him from matching the same energy his classmates bring.

Billy Madison

Directed by Tamra Davis and co-written by Tim Herlihy and Adam Sandler, Billy Madison is a Comedy film from 1995 that stars Adam Sandler in the title role. In order to prove himself a competent heir to a multi-million dollar fortune, Billy must return to grade school as an adult and navigate all 12 grades as quickly as possible.

Director

Tamra Davis

Release Date

February 10, 1995

Runtime

89 minutes

8 “Somebody Kill Me, Please!”

The Wedding Singer (1998) – Robbie Hart

Robbie’s musical performance in The Wedding Singer is a profound moment, and “I Wanna Grow Old With You” is one of the best songs from Adam Sandler in all of his movies. While this scene is supposed to be emotional, it ends up becoming funny instead. Robbie’s heartbreak after being left at the altar results in some fantastic scenes in The Wedding Singer. His break-up-inspired song lyrics are pretty cliche and standard, at least they are to begin with.

But as Robbie continues to sing and his voice suddenly becomes full of fury, it’s clear that something is about to go wrong. “Somebody kill me, please!” is completely wild and unexpected, which is why this quote is so comical. Robbie’s screeching voice, laced with anger and pain, doesn’t have a lot of impact on the single person in the crowd, unfortunately.

The Wedding Singer

Set in 1985, The Wedding Singer sees comedy icon Adam Sandler play a nice guy with a broken heart whose misery is compounded by his job as a wedding singer. Jilted at the altar by his fiancée, he crashes hard, only to find love again when he meets Julia (Drew Barrymore), who asks for help planning her wedding. Then, the race is on to show Julia how he feels before her wedding.

Director

Frank Coraci

Release Date

February 13, 1998

Runtime

97 Minutes

7 “I Watch The Stock Market Channel All The Time – I Just Watch Because I Suspect That Anchor Man Of Being An Evil Leprechaun.”

Mr. Deeds (2002) – Crazy Eyes

Mr. Deeds’ Crazy Eyes is one of Steve Buscemi’s greatest movie performances to date, and he produces several amazing lines in the film. Crazy Eyes is a customer of Adam Sandler’s Longfellow Deeds’ pizzeria, named aptly after his severe amblyopia, although this doesn’t stop him from actually using his vision. When Deeds delivers an order to him, Crazy Eyes starts discussing the recent firings at Preston Blake’s company that he heard about on the “stock market channel” before following up with his reasoning for doing so.

Crazy Eyes doesn’t appear to be the most cultured or widely educated person, so it’s odd that he’s interested in the stock market. However, his unhinged theory that he “suspect[s] that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun” makes a lot more sense. He admits that it’s the only reason he tunes into the channel, and it’s apparent that Crazy Eyes is more complex than he initially seems to be. There are so many great characters in Mr. Deeds, but Crazy Eyes is possibly the funniest.

Mr. Deeds

Mr. Deeds is a comedy film directed by Steven Brill and stars Adam Sandler as Longfellow Deeds, a small-town pizzeria owner who inherits a massive fortune from a distant relative. As Deeds adjusts to his newfound wealth and life in the big city, he navigates various comedic situations and encounters with opportunistic individuals. Winona Ryder co-stars as the journalist assigned to cover his story.

Director

Steven Brill

Release Date

June 28, 2002

Runtime

96 minutes

6 “Will Somebody Get The Kid A Happy Meal?!”

Big Daddy (1999) – Sonny Koufax

Big Daddy stars Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian, a young boy who is left in the care of Sandler’s Sonny. He isn’t a natural parental figure whatsoever, but he tries his best to look after Julian while he waits for his biological father, Kevin, to return. Sonny’s childlike mindset is useful when it comes to keeping Julian happy, so one morning, he takes him to McDonald’s. However, Sonny’s relaxed attitude also means that his ability to tell time is poor.

Sonny’s outburst, “Will somebody get the kid a happy meal?!” after Julian gets upset at him arguing with the cashier, perfectly encapsulates the inner thoughts of many parents. The way he spits back at the man commenting on his parenting is hilarious, and although he tries to be calm with Julian, he ultimately grows frustrated with the kid’s tears. Sonny’s lack of childcare experience is charming, but even the best cool uncle figure has bad days.

Big Daddy

Big Daddy is a 1999 comedy film by director Dennis Dugan. Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler) has gone the first 32 years of his life avoiding any responsibility. But when his girlfriend dumps him out of the blue and shacks up with an older man, he’s confronted by the need to prove he’s got a plan for life to win her back. As a strike of luck, 5-year-old Julian (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) is dropped off on his doorstep, and to impress her, he pretends to be Julian’s father. 

Director

Dennis Dugan

Release Date

June 25, 1999

Runtime

93 Minutes

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5 “Look Who’s Talking, Captain Twinkie Of The SS Fat Ass!”

Click (2006) – Ben Newman

Click is an Adam Sandler comedy that deserves a modern sequel because the plot is so ahead of its time. The 2006 release follows Sandler’s Michael Newman and his enigmatic universal remote that allows him to stop, start, rewind, and skip forward in town. Michael learns multiple life lessons in Click, but one of the most important comes from his son, Ben. Ben is portrayed by more than one actor in Click as the character ages, but Jonah Hill plays the 17-year-old version of him.

Michael’s reaction to his son’s weight gain isn’t sensitive, and Ben’s retort of “Look who’s talking, Captain Twinkie of the SS fat ass!” highlights how hypocritical he’s being. Although Ben doesn’t know that Michael has skipped through years of their lives, his response is absolutely warranted, not to mention hilarious. What makes this quote even funnier, however, is that Ben is referencing an earlier part of Click and Michael’s obsession with Twinkies.

Click (2006)

Click is a fantasy comedy-drama directed by Frank Coraci. Adam Sandler stars as Michael Newman, a harried architect struggling to balance his career and family life. He stumbles upon a magical remote control that can fast-forward, rewind, and pause time. Initially using it to skip life’s annoyances, Michael soon realizes the remote’s unintended consequences, missing out on significant life events.

Director

Frank Coraci

Release Date

June 23, 2006

Cast

Adam Sandler , Kate Beckinsale , Christopher Walken , David Hasselhoff , Henry Winkler , Julie Kavner , Sean Astin , Jennifer Coolidge , Rachel Dratch , Sophie Monk , Jonah Hill

Runtime

107 minutes

4 “My Mama Says That Alligators Are Ornery Because They Got All Them Teeth And No Toothbrush.”

The Waterboy (1998) – Bobby Boucher

Click is an Adam Sandler comedy that deserves a modern sequel because the plot is so ahead of its time. The 2006 release follows Sandler’s Michael Newman and his enigmatic universal remote that allows him to stop, start, rewind, and skip forward in town. Michael learns multiple life lessons in Click, but one of the most important comes from his son, Ben. Ben is portrayed by more than one actor in Click as the character ages, but Jonah Hill plays the 17-year-old version of him.

Michael’s reaction to his son’s weight gain isn’t sensitive, and Ben’s retort of “Look who’s talking, Captain Twinkie of the SS fat ass!” highlights how hypocritical he’s being. Although Ben doesn’t know that Michael has skipped through years of their lives, his response is absolutely warranted, not to mention hilarious. What makes this quote even funnier, however, is that Ben is referencing an earlier part of Click and Michael’s obsession with Twinkies.

The Waterboy (1998)

The Waterboy is a comedy film directed by Frank Coraci, featuring Adam Sandler as Bobby Boucher, a socially awkward waterboy for a college football team who discovers a talent for tackling. Set in Louisiana, the story follows Bobby as he transforms from a ridiculed waterboy into a star player, under the guidance of Coach Klein, portrayed by Henry Winkler. Kathy Bates co-stars as Bobby’s overprotective mother.

Director

Frank Coraci

Release Date

November 6, 1998

Runtime

90 Minutes

3 “Happy Birthday, Sir. What Are You, Like, 200 Today?”

50 First Dates (2004) – Henry Roth

50 First Dates’ original ending and final cut may be heartbreaking, but Sandler’s iconic rom-com alongside Drew Barrymore is still an extremely funny movie. While the moments between Sandler’s Henry and Barrymore’s Lucy are generally emotional and prioritize romance, there are also several humorous quotes in the scenes during their progressing love story. When Henry crosses paths with Lucy’s father, Marlin, as he prepares to leave for his research study, he mockingly wishes him a happy birthday and asks, “What are you, like, 200 today?”

Henry’s attempt to cover up his heartbreak over his relationship with Lucy is dark, but it shows how much he is struggling. Every day, for years, Lucy celebrates Marlin’s birthday as she believes it to be and doesn’t remember her accident. He knows he shouldn’t joke about Lucy’s difficulties with memory, but that is why this quote works so well. Henry uses inappropriate humor with Marlin to deal with his problems, and even though the other man doesn’t appreciate it, they share an understanding.

50 First Dates

Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore star in the 2004 romantic comedy 50 First Dates, which revolves around a womanizer’s attempts at winning over an amnesiac woman’s heart over and over, every day of her life. Frequent Adam Sandler collaborators Rob Schneider and Kevin James are part of the cast alongside Sean Astin, Dan Aykroyd, and Maya Rudolph.

Director

Peter Segal

Release Date

February 13, 2004

Runtime

99minutes

2 “Don’t Forget. You’re Shoving A Pineapple Up Hitler’s A** At 4 P.M.”

Little Nicky (2000) – Jimmy The Demon

Adam Sandler’s shared movie universe begins with Little Nicky and includes characters and actors who also appear in other titles. The brilliantly comical movie follows Sandler as the titular character, the son of Satan and angel Holly, who is portrayed by Reese Witherspoon, one of several great cameos in Little Nicky. However, the funniest quote in Little Nicky comes from Blake Clarke as Jimmy the Demon. When Satan wants to discuss his predecessor, his assistant chimes in and reminds him that he is “Shoving a pineapple up Hitler’s ass at 4 p.m.”

This ludicrous remark is nothing short of hysterical, but the way Blake Clarke delivers the line so casually makes it that much easier to appreciate. What’s even better, however, is that later in Little Nicky, this scene actually happens. Naturally, it is assumed that such a controversial figure like Hitler resides in Hell, but the way that Satan and Jimmy decide to punish him is so ridiculous.

Little Nicky (2000)

Little Nicky is a comedy starring Adam Sandler as Nicky, the least likely son of Satan who is sent to Earth to prevent his brothers from creating their version of hell. As he struggles with his mission, he must learn how to control his demonic powers to save the world.

Director

Steven Brill

Release Date

November 10, 2000

Runtime

90 minutes

1 “Colonel Sanders Been Eating His Own Chicken.”

The Longest Yard (2005) – Paul Crewe

Sandler’s 2005 remake of The Longest Yard sees him as Paul Crewe, a former NFL quarterback football player who is sentenced to prison after a high-speed police chase. While The Longest Yard’s star-studded NFL cast includes several other big sports personalities, Paul’s quips about the situation he finds himself in dominate many of the film’s scenes. When he meets the prison’s warden, Rudolph, he is then introduced to Walter Williamson’s Errol. Ever the comedian, Paul notes Errol’s appearance and mutters, “Colonel Sanders been eating his own chicken.”

While this isn’t necessarily a laugh-out-loud moment in The Longest Yard, it still works because of how subtle the joke is. Errol looks suspiciously similar to the face of KFC, but Paul’s attitude toward his imprisonment means that he loses all sense of tactfulness. Interestingly, this isn’t the first time Adam Sandler makes a Colonel Sanders joke in one of his movies, as there is also another gag like this in The Waterboy.

The Longest Yard

The Longest Yard (2005) is a remake of the 1974 sports comedy classic, this time by director Peter Segal. Sent to jail after a televised car chase, pro football quarterback Paul Crewe (Adam Sandler) is manipulated by Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) into helping coach the prison’s team. Crewe instead proposes a warm-up game between the guards and the prisoners, with him captaining the inmates. Assisted by incarcerated ex-NFL coach Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds), a ragtag team of felons and misfits, Crewe must battle against more than a juiced-up defense to win the game and save his future.

Director

Peter Segal

Release Date

May 27, 2005

Studio(s)

Paramount Pictures , Columbia Pictures , MTV Films , Happy Madison Productions

Distributor(s)

Paramount Pictures

Writers

Sheldon Turner

Runtime

113 Mins

Budget

$90 Million

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